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happy-blood:

“You’ve got to be prepared for the names they are going to call you compared to your male peers… You will be a floozy and a slattern. He will be virile and a ladies’ man. You will be a freakshow, a retching wretch, a sloppy drunk. He will be charismatic, vainglorious, a ferocious drunk and Dionysian. You will be indiscriminate and desperate. He will be generous, tortured and driven.” - Courtney Love

ink-and-roses:

ahumblebard:

doxian:

I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the struggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.

Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.

SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole. 

I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.

This is never not funny

gentlemanbones:

askornaut:

sleptwithurmom:

mattyofshadow:

deluxesherlock:

bacon-lettuce-and-timmyturner:

fineas-and-pherb:

Best backstory. (x)

You know…for a second there…his head shape led me to believe he could be Phineas’s father.

whA T

NO BUT THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY PHINEAS IS SO INVENTIVE OH MY GOD

OH FUCK

I’d like to point out that Phineas has an older sister, Candace. Now, I’m not entirely sure, but I believe they canonically are from the same father. This would mean that not only did Linda do the do with Dr. Doof, she did it twice.

I’LL USE MY FORNICATORNATOR TO CONQUER YOUR THIGH STATE AREA.

akiirei:

tentacuddles:

ironychan:

mischievousshota:

indevan:

simonjadis:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

emeraldcharos:

wessasaurus-rex:

kikojaharo:

This is the most accurate gif of Florida I have ever seen.

 ”What the fuck?” 

She’s not even scared, she’s just mad and confused.

baby gators are basically confused sharp bunnies who wander into other people’s pools for a dip and some sunbathing and might gnaw on u. mommas are the scary ones.

confused sharp bunnies

i’d argue that you don’t even have to worry about mommas.  alligators are literally stoners.  like don’t fuck with their stuff and they’ll just chill and leave you alone.

i grew up in florida. i was riding my bike once and managed to fall over and into a swamp full of gators and they just stared at me like ‘what the fuck did you do that for?’ they are some of the calmest creatures ever.

Alligators have not evolved in two hundred million years.  They’re too lazy.

You can distinctly make out that she’s saying “What the fuck? Whose alligator is this?”

Lele Pons

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